Wednesday, June 29, 2011

FroYo Claims a Victim

Remember Coldstone Creamery? The Moe's of the ice cream world - 1,500 calories stuffed into a single serving? Faux-healthy versions of decadence like "Sinless Sweet Cream" made with Splenda? Sigh.

My favorite Coldstone memory? Being the rebel in my dorm and ordering Irish Cream and Cappuccino flavors in my ultra-Mormon college town where coffee is grounds for damnation. Pun intended.

Coldstone is the place for newly-single, newly-broken-hearted gals and their friends to eat themselves sick, for kids to learn what it is to consume more calories in one sitting than they should all week, and where plenty of first dates find true Love It.

Soon-to-be Italian Village. Hopefully they can get the guilt out of the walls.
And then came the froyo franchises. The actually healthy frozen treat with dairy- and sugar-free options that don't taste like chemicals and self-loathing. Unfortunately for this Coldstone on 17-92, Yogurtland settled in next door and Menchies moved in across the street in Winter Park Village.

Death knell for the Gotta Have It crowd. Cue Taps.

4 comments:

Jessica @ Sushi and Sit-Ups said...

This is hilarious. I'm a fan of Jeremiah's, personally...

Chris said...

I love Chilly Spoons Frozen Yogurt Bar!!!!

Anonymous said...

Coldstone always made me feel guilty aftewards, especially if I had ordered a "Gotta Have it." Coldstone was great but I can't justify eating 1500 calories in one sitting. Jeremiahs or any frozen yogurt for me thanks!

jeremylukens said...

FroYo can never top Coldstone. The decadence is part of the appeal.

Also, if Coldstone is a place for the broken-hearted women to drown their sorrows in delectable dairy dishes, does that mean it's a good place to pick up women? Sounds better than a singles bar.